It really breaks my heart when I hear people who are distant from the Lord and dont know what to believe anymore. I obviously feel pain for those who do not know the Lord at all and have no relationship with Him. But what has been on my mind lately is the people who DID have a strong relationship with God, followed Him, believed in Him, read His Word and lived by it and now they seem lost, confused, and dont even know if it is accurate to believe/follow God. What changes a person so much that they were once so devoted to Him and now want nothing to do with Him or just dont want to follow what His Bible says? After pondering and praying about this question (because I seem to be seeing it in alot of people I have worked with and invested in) I think alot of it comes down to people not really knowing that God wants to give us love, wisdom, and understanding in EVERYTHING.
Too many times we get caught up in our own situations and circumstances that we start buying into that God doesnt care what is happening in our lives or that He is putting you through a situation just to see if you can handle it. I think that this thinking is absolutely wrong. In every circumstance that we face in this life on earth the Lord ALWAYS wants to show us something new, reveal a new truth about ourselves or about Him, give us more wisdom and understanding, and ultimately have us learn how to glorify and praise Him through anything. If we really believe that the Lord has abandoned you in a dark time and that you have nothing live for or turn to, then you dont know our Gods heart. He LOVES US SOOOOOOOO MUCH. Everything He has planned for our lives is so that our love for Him and our relationship with Him can grow and mature. I get sick of people complaining about their situations and not seeing God show up the way they want Him too. Quite frankly, what if he is trying to train and teach you to be disciplined or trustworthy where you are at, so He is showing up, just not how YOU would like Him too. Its crazy how people complain about finances, marriage, or parents/siblings and think that it is Gods fault there are issues in these relationships. Are we really so high and mighty that we dont see that we are human, with flesh nature tendencies, and that most of the time we are the ones to cause all the problems for ourselves? For example, if you complaining and upset with your finances because your in debt and frustrated you dont get paid enough at your job. But then that day you go out to eat and buy new clothes. THATS YOUR FAULT! That is not Gods fault because you dont get paid enough its your fault for not being wise with the money you are given so you have gotten yourself into that trouble. Make sense??
People, my heart hurts so much seeing you walk away from the most amazing relationship you will ever have over issues that can be resolved. Even the worst circumstance of being mistreated, neglected, or abused the Lord wants to walk with you through that. I firmly believe that in every situation our God wants to show us new wisdom, understanding, and love that we have not ever known before.
So to give you an example of what I personally have walking through with all this, is our story on getting pregnant and what the Lord has been teaching me through all of it. Many people do not know the struggle we have walked through to get pregnant with both of our kids. I think alot of times trying to get pregnant, miscarriages, and infertility is just not talked about openly. However here is what the Lord has been showing me and I wanted to share!
I think the Lord has done something significant of placing me in the family that I married into. Obviously there are a ton of other reasons why I love the Howard family and am so thankful to be apart of their family. However, what the Lord has been showing me lately is that I was placed in a very 'fertile' family. Literally starting from Tammy down to all three girls, every single one of them can get pregnant easily and fast. Its as if they think one day, "Yea, Im ready for the next baby lets get pregnant." And then they find out a week later that they are pregnant :-) This is the family that I married into. However, the Lord made me different from them and trying to get pregnant is VERY difficult. I have a disease on my ovaries that is called PCOS (Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). Basically the last time I was updated my symptoms I had about 30 cysts on each ovary. This makes it very hard to conceive children. SO before having Raelin this was a huge struggle and issue that we dealt with and to constantly give over to the Lord. That whole story with Raelin is on a different post :-) With both kids we have been able to get pregnant on fertility drugs, clomid and metphormin. When we were ready to have Zion it was the exact same way of being on the medicine for 3 months and we got pregnant!
We are now in the spot ready for baby #3. Yet this time trying to get pregnant has been much different. It really has just been my attitude of trying to get pregnant. When I was pregnant with Zion my whole prayer during that pregnancy is that I would be able to get pregnant with baby #3 without any medicine and that it would be completely "natural." Unfortunately that has not been the case at all. This past year I have continually prayed to the Lord that I would just be completely healed and that I would be "normal." But this past week we have I have had an epiphany. What if the Lord has healed me how HE wants to heal me. What if He doesnt want me to "normal" but for all the children we would be able to have that it might be a struggle so that way He gains a testimony and glory through it. What if He has placed me in a very "fertile" family so that I can even use the people and circumstances around me to grow closer to Him and only rely on Him and nothing else. I think that the Lord has called our family as a testimony to His goodness and that means even in the most difficult hard times of trying to conceive. I know that the Lord has called us to multiply and produce - in every area of our life. I also know that God has called me to be a mom and not give up my desires to have a large family. So graciously with the this new wisdom the Lord has given me, we have to change our perspective on what being healed looks like.
So with all this said, we have to know ABOVE ALL THINGS, that our God wants to be with us in every circumstance (small or big ones) and that He will never leave us in a situation just work it our for ourselves. We have to consistently seeking Him and asking Him what His will is, not our human will. There is so much more for us than just us being stuck and feeling lost and confused. That is not His desire for us! He wants to show us so many more things than we could ever imagine! So my prayer for you is that you would not let the world influence you telling you that there are other options that living and seeking the Lord. That is completely false and ultimately will lead you to destruction. I pray that in every circumstance you are in you will give all yourself to Him and HE WILL SHOW UP and give you wisdom how to walk it out!
Love you all and I am continually praying for all my peeps who are not walking with the Lord, that you will have a new awakening and encounter with Him!!!
-Kara
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